


Never Cross The Weasley Twins

by SonOfAMuggle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24163981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonOfAMuggle/pseuds/SonOfAMuggle
Summary: Boy who kept a bezoar in his pocket drinks some tea.This was written for Fanatical Fics writing competition and won an Honorable Mention.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Never Cross The Weasley Twins

He woke up early in the Ravenclaw"s dormitory with dread in the pit of his empty stomach. It felt like a cucumber soaking in gasoline. No that wasn't right. It was like the giant squid had layed Quaffle sized eggs in his large intestine. No! It was like . . . He couldn't think when he was this stressed! Well, it didn't matter. He had gotten on the wrong side of the Weasley twins and there would be repercussions.

It wasn't his fault really, it was an accident. Strolling down the corridor minding his own business, Mcgonagall had ask if he'd seen Fred or George. He simply replied he'd just seen them pass through the door pretending to be a wall. How was he supposed know they had just set off dung bombs under the head table? "Your comeuppance are coming" they twins had said. It was going to happen today. He could feel it like a pickle on fire. He needed to calm down It was going to be okay he was clever. He was a Ravenclaw dammit! He could out smart the Weasley twins! He had a plan.

Smugly entering the great Hall for breakfast he glanced over at the Gryffindor table. They were watching him, their flaming red hair filled with malicious chaos. He fingering the shriveled kidney like stone tucked safely in his pocket. He could do this.

The solution had been obviously once he thought about it. Fred and George had been on a food pranking trend. They were everywhere Canary Creams, Nosebleed Nougat, Tounge-Ton Toffees. They had put Doxie venom in Flinch-Flechley's marmalade on Tuesday and a shrinking solution in Michael Corner's pumpkin juice the week before. There was a rumor going around that a certain part of Michael had not recovered. Foolishly, they had fallen into a pattern. And he was going to be the first one to beat the Weasley Twins! All of Hogwarts would know his name!

It was a simple riddle really, when you thought of it as such and he was well crafted in riddles. What would save you from a variety of ingested poisons? A bezoar, of course. So he had quietly snuck out the boys dorm and stolen one from the potions classroom supply cupboards. He'd wouldn't normally have done that, he was terrified of Snape but this was his chance for glory.

Faking a calm he did not feel, he sat down at the Ravenclaw table beside Terry Boot. From across the hall the Weasleys were wearing identical grins of terrifying delight. He settled in to eat breakfast.

He poured a cup of tea.

He stirred in the milk.

He sipped.

He breathed a sigh of relief. No feather. No nosebleed. He glanced down . . . No shrinking. He was safe.

He open his mouth for a second drink . . .

"Gitchie, gitchie, ya-ya, da-da! "

Oh no! He hadn't ment to say anything. It just dribbled out. He was singing at the top of his lungs. Everyone was staring. Squid eggs were hatching like whiz-bangs in his stomach.

"Gitchie, gitchie, ya-ya, here!"

He shoved the bezoar into his mouth and swallowed, before any more nonsense could get out. It was okay. It was over he -

"Mocha Chocolata, ya-ya !"

He clapped his hands over his mouth. He would have to run for it. Leaping from his seat, he ran pell-mell out of the Great Hall.

"Creole Lady Marmalade Ooh, oh"

The hall erupted in laughter. Echoing down the corridor they could hear him.

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"

Apparently a bezoar won't work on a babbling beverage.


End file.
